


dripping wet

by catpoop



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Universe, Crack, Detroit Police Department (Detroit: Become Human), Gross Eating Habits, M/M, One Shot, theres the tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24657670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catpoop/pseuds/catpoop
Summary: No one deserves to bear witness to Gavin Reed's eating habits.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	dripping wet

**Author's Note:**

> just a quickie ;)
> 
> thank u kay n jess in the discord for. discussing this great idea with me  
> inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/m0nsterpride/status/1270155510604414976?s=21)
> 
> just so you know, i look exactly like ben affleck smoking while i am sitting here posting this

Like his predecessor, Nines has access to an encyclopaedic amount of knowledge. _Unlike_ Connor, Nines does not use this knowledge for such frivolous things as encouraging his co-worker to make healthy lifestyle changes. His main concern when he watches Gavin stuff his maw full of heavily-loaded fries is the greasy, cheesy mess the man is leaving all over office furniture.

As someone who works in said office, Nines is understandably _concerned_.

His sharp glares haven’t done much to deter the man, but hell if he’s going to become like Connor, simpering and cleaning up after Hank. As such, he only sends a half-dozen gun emojis to Gavin’s phone when the man drops a takeaway bag on his desk partway into their lunch break.

It’s a miserable day out, so most of their colleagues also remain at their desks, at enough of a distance from them that they do not have a front-row view of what Gavin then proceeds to unwrap. Connor, of course, pings Nines a microsecond after Gavin picks up his burger. Nines considers getting up and leaving.

It’s… a disaster zone, really. He doesn’t need Connor’s concerned tone in his head to tell him that. The mess in Gavin’s hands is only identifiable as a burger by its limp sesame seed bun, and even then, it doesn’t exactly look like _bread_. Other than that, everything else is covered by a thick smear of mystery condiment, dripping in white runnels down Gavin’s hands and, god forbid, from the corners of his mouth.

The man eats like an animal on most days, and the fact that an animal has seemingly relieved itself all over his lunch does not change this at all. 

Nines can’t just watch this in silence. “What is that.”

Gavin wipes his mouth and swallows before speaking, eloquent as always. “Cheeseburger.” He goes back to his lunch.

“I see.” Nines wishes he could not see. Another urgent message from Connor pops up in his HUD, and he reads it before he can dismiss the notification.

[Please tell Detective Reed that what he is doing is not appropriate for work.]

For once, Nines has to agree. Gavin is sucking sauce off his thumb as if there was not already an overwhelming amount of it saturating his hamburger.

“What is that… condiment.” The pause is not natural for him, but Nines can admit to this being an unnatural situation.

“Garlic mayo.”

A quick search of the fast food restaurant’s menu shows that garlic mayonnaise does not belong on cheeseburgers. He tells Gavin as much.

The man burps. “They can like, add it.”

“And the quantity?”

Gavin pauses for the first time since sitting down, and even then it’s only for a millisecond before he continues to stuff his face. He says with his mouth full, “Might’ve put too much today. Still good though.”

He chews wetly, licks his lips, and swallows the last of the burger after only four bites. But even with the burger decimated, there is still a ten-centimetre blast radius of congealing garlic mayo smeared all over the wrapper. 

The blast radius might be wider than that, Nines amends, as he watches Gavin clean his hands and face of sauce. Or even wider than _that_ , if Nines takes into account the way Connor and Hank are staring and gossiping, the way P.O. Miller is hunched behind his terminal, and the bursts of laughter that have been coming from the breakroom ever since Gavin started digging in.

Gavin balls up the soiled napkins and tosses them aside with a sigh, and Nines is hopeful enough to think that the visual and auditory assault is over. And then Gavin sticks a finger into the splatter of sauce with an inquisitive noise, and Nines nearly bluescreens.

Another laugh explodes from behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> gavin, licking sauce off the wrapper: look i paid for this, cumburger or not
> 
> [tumblr](https://swummeng-geys.tumblr.com)   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/hashtag_yikes)


End file.
